Spelman denies Bread Shortage

Hot on the heels of the fuel panic the government has gone to the other extreme by covering up an imminent bread shortage.  The problem arises from plans to divert yeast from baking to industrial alcohol production to beat a possible fuel strike.

“Talk of shortages and rationing is dangerous nonsense” warns Food Minister Caroline Spelman. “In any case we are talking about a breakdown in distribution not production.”

Be that as it may the news does not seem to have filtered down to Bradford.  There were long queues outside the Pakaram and Gulab Bakeries.

“Don’t know what’s happened” says Nusrat from Bradford West, “I’ve been queueing for hours all right round t'houses. It’s only happened since that George Galloway got in.”

Fanny Maude from Shelf had a different view.  “I blame Council, me.” She said.   “All they can do is dig a great, big pond in t' bloody centre. It’s not been the same since that nice Mr. Pickles was in charge.”

Tory Party Chair Baroness Warsi wondered what the fuss was about. “Let them eat chapatis which don’t need yeast” she said wagging her finger for emphasis. “It’ll do ‘em good.”

Vindaloo, Bindaloo, Tindaloo- Oh what a Stew!

The Brits love vindaloo. It was England's campaign song in the 1998 Football World Cup.
Maybe they'd have done better with Smug Roberts's "Meat Pie Sausage Roll". Another foodie song.
According to @southportgal  (Professor Rochelle Almeida of New York University) in response to one of my tweets, vindaloo derives from the Portuguese word vindaloo. The Portuguese brought the dish to Goa, their toehold in India. 

I understand vindaloo was originally a pork dish cooked in chilli, garlic and vinegar. Now all that would appeal to Brits - especially after drowning their sorrows in the pub when their team loses - but not so much to Indians and even less to those countries in the south subcontinent who see pork as unclean significantly, it does not feature on many menus in Bradford, Yorkshire where there are many people of South Asian heritage but it is available at the Maharaja in Bradford on Avon in Wiltshire where there are rather fewer
Now my friend has just asked me for a recipe for vindaloo but I just can't as I have rarely, if ever cooked it, Ok... I relent. Heres goes my dearest

• 1  tablespoonful of chilli powder. 
• 1 cup of vinegar. 
• A whole bulb of garlic. 
• Whatever spices you have at the back of the cupboard. 
• Any type of meat you fancy: bear, crocodile, kangaroo - doesn't matter because the marinade will tenderize any cut of tough, cheap meat from any animal.   

Marinade the lot for 8 hours in a brass bowl.Then cook for as long as necessary. Serve with a towel and bog roll or two and be sure to be near your loo.Don't forget the microwavable boiled rice to calm things down a degree or two.
My lawyer warns me to be careful in case the good folks of Southport, Connecticut take this post seriously. Surely Americans have a sense of humour.
Don't they? and you Brits have been warned not to try this at home!